Reflection
by Kiera Matthews
Summary: Chapter Eighteen Up :Everyone thinks that actress Ava carson has the perfect life, and so does she until she runs into John Cena, a face from her past she's finding it impossible to foget (better then it sounds)
1. Default Chapter

-------For Alys because I never finished the other one, for replying to every e-mail and reviewing every chapter of every story I've written since February. Thank you-------  
  
A/N: This is a John/OC fic and you'll notice he isn't in this chapter much, but this is just the set up. He'll have a big role (obviousl) It sounds like it's going to be like Sometimes, but it's not. Enjoy!-Kiera  
  
Chapter One: The Girl In Question  
  
What do you know about a girl? Well, whose the girl? Try a Hollywood actress. No, try an award winning, multi million dollar earning Hollywood actress. The answer: everything. This is the twenty first century. Thanks to the media there isn't a single thing a celebrity can hide. Their dirty laundry dries in public. Skeletons don't hide in closets for very long and the past never stays forgotten. But that doesn't quiet fit for our girl. An award winning, multi million dollar earning actress whose past, she didn't really want to stay hidden and said secrets could never stay hidden. Not with our girl. The girl in question, Mrs. Ava Carson.  
  
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, Ava Carson had been Ava Ashcroft. A sixteen year old who shared a bedroom with her sister Justine, was still mourning the sudden death of her father and dreamed of being an actress. Just like any other teenage girl it was what Ava really wanted to do. At sixteen she was already prepared, just incase Hollywood suddenly called. Her oscar speech was perfect (Best actress or Best supporting actress, she didn't mind). The smile she would flash at the cameras could be conjured in an instant and held for fifteen full minutes before her cheeks began to ache and she had the flick. the stop, flick and look mysterious. It didn't matter that Ava's mother, Sandra Ashcroft, could barely afford her and Justine's lunch money, never mind drama school, Ava would get by, somehow. She had cruelly lost her place in drama class thanks to that bitch Mrs. Kelsey, who didn't care that Ava's beloved father had suddenly died, rules where rules, she'd missed six lessons and she was out. In a fit of rage Ava had gone to the principal to plead her case and he in turn, and forced Mrs. Kelsey to let Ava audition for the year's play. She got the lead, and in every play that followed. Years later, whenever someone asked her how it had all started, she would reply fate. A month before her senior year concluded, a modelling agent saw her in the mall and signed her on the spot. Two weeks later she did a shampoo commerical, a month later a make-up shoot and by the end of the summer Ava headed to Hollywood instead of Havard where she'd won a scholarship. Then for three years, nothing happened. She shared a house with four other girls who fought over the smallest jobs. One by one they went home, but not Ava. She couldn't. She'd left home promising she'd be famous, and she couldn't return if she wasn't. Then overnight it happened. Somone saw Ava in a low budget horror movie and offered her a part in his next movie. That someone was Steven Spielberg. So her dream had been reailsed, soon enough everyone was talking about her, Ava's dream had come true. But this is a fairytale, and no fairytale is compleate without a prince.  
  
Josh Carson was the hottest actor in Hollywood. He was talented, gorgeous and successful. Before Ava met him he'd already dated Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez and Angelina Jolie. Their agents introduced them and set up dates. Before she knew it, a year had passed since Steven Spielberg had discovered her and Ava married Josh Carson in a $2 million cermemony that landed them on the cover of every magazine.  
  
So, Ava got her happy ending, and why not? They where both rich, beautiful and talented to boots. Why wouldn't they live happily ever after? Because in reality, happily ever after lasts two weeks, three if you're lucky. Not forever. Ava may have been a celebrity, but she was still human and it was no different for her. But nobody saw it, not for a long time. Ladies and gentlemen, this of the story of Ava Carson, our girl in question.

* * *

That day, Ava answered the door to find Josh's agent, Gloria Nitlle standing there. She had big blonde hair, a stressed voice due to heavy smoking and her outfits fell into three categories. 1) too tight, 2) too short, 3) too bright. That day it was a clever mix of all three. Gloria grabbed Ava by her prada covered shoulders and pulled her close.   
  
"Ava! Sweetie! Mwah, mwah!"   
  
Gloria didn't kiss Ava, or even go close to her cheeks, she never did. She simply hugged her and made the noise. A habit Ava had always found a little disturbing.   
  
"Can't you do anything about those vultures by the gate?"   
  
She looked over Gloria's shoulder, towards the main gate althoughs he couldn't see anything.   
  
"They aren't doing any harm."   
  
Gloria ignored her and looked around the reception area, obviously looking for Josh. Ava left her and went into the living room, decorated in cream and white. She settled herself in a cream arm chair and picked up a piece of paper from the glass coffee table. Gloria followed, the fuschia PVC skirt squeaking with every step. She settled herself on the arm of another chair close to Ava and tried to peer at the paper.   
  
"Script?"   
  
"A letter from my Mom. She's getting remarried this week back home."   
  
Gloria muttered something that sounded like 'trash'. Ava ignored her.  
  
"Everyone's going to be there."   
  
This was it you see. The beggining of the end, althought you'd never be able to tell just now. Because to her, everyone ment someone and that someone was John Cena, her high school sweetheart. Say goodbye to happily ever after people.


	2. Home Sweet Home

A/N: Thank you to john-randy-lover, alys deejay, JohnCenasgurl and K.I.M for reiviewing the first chapter. This story is going to be quiet dark as it progresses and let me know what you think of the way its' being told, it's a little different! Enjoy-Kiera  
  
When you arrive home after being away for a long time, everything feels fresh and new, and though Ava was aware otherwise, that's exactly how going back to the house she grew up in was like. Sandra Ashcroft greeted her daughter late that night with a wide grin and open arms. Her hair was already in rollers. If Sandra Ashcroft hadn't changed in the nine years since her husband's death, it would be a mircle. She had been 38 when Ava was born, and now at 62 after losing her husband, struggling with debt and raising teenage daughters, she looked it. Her crows feet and laughter lines stood out a mile. Just two days before Ava had ran into Goldie Hawn, not quiet her mother's age but she looked fabulous. When you start comparing your mother with Goldie Hawn, in all seriousness, you've been in Hollywood too long. Ava didn't reailse this.  
  
"Look at you! You're beautiful. so pretty!"  
  
Sandra put her hand on Ava's cheek and she kissed it. Sandra smiled happily and examined her daughter's face.  
  
"You don't come home often enough you know." She said with a weary sigh. "In fact I can't remember the last time that I saw you in the flesh."  
  
"The wedding three years ago." Ava replied immediatly, picking up her bags and following Sandra into the house.  
  
"Now what sort of person doesn't visit their mother for three years?"  
  
"A busy one."  
  
Her Hollywood-ness as we shall refer to it from here on out, came back into full force as she stepped into the backroom. in all honesty it was a compleate disaster of mismatched furniture, late 80's wallpaper and ugly decor. She actually nearly gasped outloud, Ava had forgotten all about it. She sat on the sofa, a lump flora number dipping in the middle, while Sandra settled herself in a blue chair, kicking off her slippers and rubbing her swollen ankles. The pictures on the walls where Ava Carson and Justine Ashcroft's lives in pictures, the latest one being on Ava clutching her oscar. It had been printed off the internet. you have to ask yourself, what sort of person can't even be bothered sending their mother a real photograph? But as I've said, Ava isn't a bad person. She's been manipulated, beyond the extent that anyone could imagine. As before, that isn't for now. Sandra saw her daughter looking at the picture and gave a thin lipped grin.  
  
"I still can't believe it, my daughter, the oscar winner. Who would of thought it?"  
  
No-one. The honest answer was no-one. Not Sandra, not Justine and definatly not John Cena  
  
Back when they where teenagers, John Cena had loved Ava and that was the truth. She was his first love and he was her's. He never doubted her talent or her drive, but Hollywood was a ruthless place and what casting director in the right mind wanted a teenager who's only experience was school drama classes and local plays? He simply hadn't wanted her to get hurt. But Ava had a firey temper, excatly like her father and when John burst the bubble she'd been riding ever since getting her modelling contract she had exploded. But can you blame her? Place yourselves in her shoes. Imagine your dream, whatever it may be, something you believe you can achieve and work hard for. When someone you love shrugs it off what do you do? Explode! Ava did the same. She called him every name she knew, ripped his own stupid dream to shreds, dumped him and went home where she was beyond devestated. Ava cried every night and John didn't talk to her which made her feel worse. She was glad when summer started. Goodbye John and his negativity, like any good, firey tempered teen, Ava would damn well show him.  
  
And she damn well had. Don't you agree? Was winning an oscar not the best 'middle-finger' insult to people like John? Of course it was. The question is, did he even care? For the sake of things, let's say he did.  
  
Honesty is always the best policy, and to not be would discredit Ava's story. The man that Sandra Ashcroft had married just one hour before was the worst speciemen the male spieces had to offer. Not even the Queer Eye team could of saved him. He was horrible. Of course it didn't matter that Sandra was happy, look at him! It was enough to make your skin crawl. That's why Ava had tucked herself away in a corner, far away from her new stepdaddy. Of course this also gave Ava the perfect oppotunity to scan the room for John, but she wasn't really sure of her own intentions. Was it because he was her first love? The only man besides Josh she'd ever been with? Or because she wanted to say: Look at me now? Whatever the reason she was going to find him. As always is the way though (and what is any good story without twists?), John saw her first and crept up beside her without her even noticing.  
  
"Tell me, Mrs. Academy Award Winner, when are you going to get a real job?"  
  
What is this sentances significances? To bring up her success before she did then make a joke? To break the ice of a nine year silence? No. The significance of this is, as of it being spoken by john and heard by Ava. They where hooked on each other once more, and unbeknowen to them, their worlds where about to collide once more, and her's would fall apart. 


	3. Playing Charades

Seeing John didn't remind Ava of being in high school, but the smell of him did, which was strange because he didn't smell the same. Suddenly she was sixteen with a flat chest and split ends. It took a long time for her to come back to the present and even longer to get her poise. She smiled and gave her well practised laugh.  
  
"Said the wrestler. Tell me John what are you going to do when you're old?"  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
"Get a face lift."  
  
Then the wall between them was gone. Seeing him made Ava wonder what did his comments then, matter to her now? He'd been wrong and that was enough.  
  
"Look at you all shiny and flawless."  
  
"And you, all tall and buff. I remember when you where a skinny twig."  
  
"I remember you having a smaller clevage."  
  
"It's a push up bra." Ava told him with the same tone she told the press.  
  
"Ava, how long have you known me for? You can tell me if you have implants, I'm not going to go running to the press."  
  
"Ok, ok. I did have implants. Nathen and Josh thought it was a good idea."  
  
John nearly chocked on his drink in shock and if you had been drinking wouldn't you? Ladies and gentlemen, a furthur insight into her life and what she was becoming. Don't worry, you're not ment to understand it now.  
  
"Ava, did you seriously have plastic surgery because your husband said so?"  
  
"No, my agent said so too." she replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world.  
  
John knew straight away that she wouldn't see how wrong its seemed, so he let it go. He only now began to feel intimidated sitting next to her. He had expected her to be the same person, she clearly wasn't.  
  
"What are you doing next then?"  
  
"A thriller set in the 1950's. I play the perfect housewife and then an ad campagine for Max Factor."  
  
"Busy girl."  
  
"If I had time off I'd be bored."  
  
"Do you miss it here?" John asked.  
  
"No," she answered quickly."No way. I have a better life in Hollywood. I miss things, people. My Mom, Justine."  
  
"Me?" he asked, then laughed.  
  
She laughed too. You can guess the truth. She did. How could she not? He'd been a good friend before he'd become a great boyfriend. He'd only upset her once. It may have been nine long years, but Ava would trust John with her life, behind her agent. She smiled at him.  
  
"You wish."  
  
He saw it again in that smile, the difference. It was too perfect, like she'd been given some mathematical guide of 'Hollywood's Way to Execute The Perfect Smile.'  
  
"You've been doing that all day." He told her. "Smiling. You look crazy when you're sitting alone, smiling."  
  
"That's because I'm happy."  
  
"Really? You're not in LA anymore. Just people who've known you forever. You don't have to act."  
  
"I'm not acting."  
  
She was, she simply didn't know it, not yet anyway.  
  
At midnight the party at the reception hall winded down, but the newlyweds and twenty other people still wanted to party. William Fredlin, Sandra's new husband and the Queer Eye reject, ordered taxi's for evryone to take them to his house where the party would continue. Ava had to hand it to him, he may be ugly but he had money and it her book that was at least one brownie point. The house was larger then Sandra's, but Ava was an actress and it would take a hell of a lot more then four bedrooms and a widescreen television to really impress her. William replaced cheap chamagne with cheap white wine and Ava settled herself on the dusty pink leather couch with a glass. Seconds later Justine was next to her, in the same breidsmaids dress as Ava, with her hair stiff with hair spray.  
  
"What do you think of him?" Justine asked, nodding over to William who was entertaining their Aunt Lydia.  
  
"Where did she find him? The street corner? I don't like him."  
  
"Have you spoken to him?"  
  
"No."  
  
"So you're basing your assumptions purely on how he looks?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Justine shook her head and muttered something that sounded strangely like 'unbelieveable.' The Ashcroft Sisters (when they had been that instead of Justine Tobin and Ava Carson) didn't change until Justine got married. Whatever the elder did, it was a sure thing the younger would do the same three years later, just better. When Justine got married Ava was 17 and like everyone else she hated Tyson Tobin with a passion. She hated him even more when Justine gave birth to Kirsten a year later, then a little bit more when Marrissa came along, then some more when he left her and more when Austin was born two years ago. Josh had met him once and Ava pratically beamed when she saw them standing by each other. Her Josh with his blonde hair, suede jacket and expensive jeans. Tyson with his dirty T- shirt and plaid cut-off's. Ava couldn't help it, she had given Justine a smile that just shouted : 'ha ha.' Ever since the void between them had widended and Ava had the feeling in a few years her sister would be selling none too flattering stories about her.  
  
"Nice bag. Where did you get it?' Justine asked picking up her sisters handbag.  
  
"Stella Mc Cartney. One off, especially designed. Retail value about eight thousand dollars."  
  
"Why do you sound like a catelogue?"  
  
"Why are you a bitch?''  
  
"Why are you? You dissappear off for three years and come back like this."  
  
"Successful? I'm sorry if I've refused to fall for the curse of the Ashcroft women."  
  
Justine's unkempt eyebrows drew together and Ava could almost pin point excatly where the surgeon would inject the botox.  
  
"What is that suppose to mean?"  
  
"It's funny how every women before me has ended up raising children alone."  
  
"I may be alone but I'm happy. Let's play a game Ava, it's called charades."  
  
Justine got up and stalked off to where Marrissa was falling asleep. If Ava hadn't been perfectly trainned never to frown, she would of. Obviously Justine was a bitter, jealous cow. Stand them next to each other and note the differences. Justine: divorced mother of three with bad highlights and even worse extensions. Still struggling to lose the weight from Austin, and Marrissa for that matter. Dead end job, dead end life. Ava: Happily married the offically the 2nd sexiest man in the world, fabulous highlights,fabulous figure, fabulous everything. Just won an oscar. She gave a laugh to herself. Who wouldn't be jealous of her?  
  
There was not a chance in hell that she was staging at William's house. The thought made her shudder and Ava took a cab back to Sandra's house and threw herself onto her old lumpy matress and fell asleep surrounded by a musty smell of lavender of her child and teenhood. At six am her tiny, silver ceelphone rang. It was Nathen telling her to get up and exercise off all the food she'd eaten the night before. Like a good little sheep, Ava got up, changed into her exercise clothes and did an hour of yoga in peace. Josh called soon afterwards and reminded her of the premier that night that she would have to change on the plane to get to. When John Cena rang the doorbell a few hours later, her make-up was already on and her hair wound up in curlers. He looked her up and down and tried to figure out the two contrasting styles.  
  
"I knew Hollywood was obsessed with image but do you really need to dress up like that to exercise?"  
  
"I need to go to a premier tonight and won't have time to do my make-up on the jet."  
  
He adjusted his cap. "Right, the jet. Would that be your private jet?"  
  
John had been joking but the way she answered with 'of course' shook him slightly. She stepped aside and he followed her into the backroom. Hanging up over the back door was a floor lenght lilac dress. When John went to touch it Ava almost screamed.  
  
"Don't touch it!" she said. "It's Versace and it was only flown in last week. Donatella would die if it wasn't perfect tonight."  
  
"Who's Donatella?"  
  
"Versace. Donatella Versace. Please tell me you've heard of her."  
  
This couldn't be Ava, not the same person he'd grown up with. What about all those actors and actress who would proudly say 'Hollywood hasn't changed me!' ? Why wasn't Ava one of those? Who really cared about Donatella Versace?  
  
"What premier are you going to tonight?" he asked.  
  
"Josh's new movie, it's called Jaded. A romantic comedy."  
  
"You've got a cameo in it." John said, almost as if Ava didn't know.  
  
Something changed in her face then, it was almost like a drop and he would later describe it as her dropping her skin. She smiled and it wasn't the annoying big teeth smile he'd seen so many times before. It was her and John didn't understand right then why such a trivial thing would make her smile like that, he wouldn't for a long time, but you ladies and gents, you get to know right now. Ava was touched. Not in the 'thank you for voting for me' way, the 'how the hell did he know that' way.  
  
"Where did you hear that?" she asked.  
  
"Come on Ava, when someone you know get's famous you follow their every move. Coincidently, I'm waiting for the right moment to tell the press all your dirty stories."  
  
She let that one slip. "My every move?"  
  
"You know what I mean." He said.  
  
Ava didn't. They had just passed the point of no return and neither of them knew it. 


	4. Baby Talk

Chapter Four: Baby, Talk

Nathen Rodman was a small man who wore one off designer pieces that no-one else would touch and managed to drop Ava into every conversation he had, even when he was speaking to his mother. He hated Gloria and she hated him too. So it was a surprise when they showed up together at the resturant the next day (Gloria in yellow lycra pants and a matching jacket, Ava shuddered). She did her whole 'mwah' routine with the both of them before sitting down and grinning , her collegen injected lips looked like they had been smeared across her face.  
  
"Look at you. Just look at you! Two beautiful people with beautiful careers."  
  
"But," Nathen opened his leather briefcase and pulled out a magazine. "Competition. who is our competition?"  
  
Who talks like they're in a classroom or planning a war?  
  
He threw a glossy magazine on the table.  
  
"Brad and Jen and now they've got one step up on us."  
  
Neither Ava or Josh looked at the magazine and they didn't need to. When you've got enough money people will do everything for you.  
  
"Yesterday, Jennifer Aniston announced she was pregnant. How do we retaliate?"  
  
Don't you think it seems a bit much like a baby was a bomb, especially designed to destroy lives, or in this case dethrone the Carson's as Hollywood royalty?  
  
"You should start a family."  
  
Gloria said this like she had just told them they had won the lottery and where allowed to keep all the money. Josh smiled.  
  
"Wow, thay's big news. We hadn't even thought about it."  
  
"Well now you have. This can only do good for both of you. You'll both have more in common with average Joe, Ava can tell the whole world how she lost her baby weight."  
  
"I see a diet book." Nathen chimed in.  
  
"And you'll be the envy of everyone because there is no way you'll have an ugly child."  
  
The first time you ever doubt something that up until that point you've had a 100% faith in, is terrifying, believe me. Your stomach drops like you're on a rollercoster and although it may be a little thing, although it may eventually work out, if you've had unwavering belief in something and for a brief second that belief goes, it shakes you to the very core. That's what happened to Ava, she had never thought twice about anything Nathen or Gloria had told her. But hearing about having a baby made her throat dry and she didn't think it was right, even though it lasted for shortest time period, it was there.  
  
"Nathen, a baby would be great but not right now. We both have movies to shot and there isn't time." Ava said.  
  
They all looked at her, even the waiter who was serving their drinks.  
  
"I mean me and Josh would obviously love a baby, but this is very sudden."  
  
Gloria was nodded, picking up a story that wasn't there. "Right. Get the public involved. Circulate some stories about how they've been trying for months. I can see the headlines, The Carson's secret heartbreak. Then when you do feel it's time and you do get pregnant it will be the biggest story of the year."  
  
It makes you wonder doesn't it? How low can somone actually sink without reailsing it? What will some people do for fame? Is there even a price? Nathen was clapping as though Gloria had just said something terribly insprirational. Ava and Josh where smiling.  
  
"Brilliant idea." Josh said.  
  
You have to ask yourself, what sort of people agree with those who sink?  
  
Later that day, Ava found herself lying on the bed watching Josh carefully pick out what clothes he would take away with him. They would both leave tomorrow for different places to start filming. Josh was off the China for a science fiction and Ava to Florida for her 50's thriller.  
  
"They have a point." Josh told her as he folded a shirt.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Gloria and Nathen. A baby isn't such a bad idea."  
  
"Easy for you to say." Ava replied picking up a mirror from the bedside table and examining her eyebrows. "You don't have to give birth."  
  
"There are hospitals these days that will cut it out then give you lipo at the same time."  
  
She looked at him with wide eyes. "Really? No horrible pushing?"  
  
Josh smiled and kneeled in front of her. "Really. It can't do our careers any bad can it? Look at how many times they mentioned Gwenyth when she gave birth."  
  
Ava contemplated this. He sounded so certain that she could already see the headlines:  
  
**Baby Joy For Ava And Josh**  
  
Then came that fear she experienced in the resturant, Ava had never questioned Josh, not even when he told she needed plastic surgery. Why should she question him? He was her husband.  
  
"I never asked you last night, how was the wedding?"  
  
Ava groaned. "My new step-daddy looks like he was beaten with the ugly stick and Justine get's more jealous every time I see her."  
  
Josh laughed and kissed her hand. "Why shouldn't she? You are gorgoues and your sister is a single mom. She wishes she was you."  
  
"Justine said I was playing charades."  
  
"What?"  
  
"She implied I was something I'm not, you know?"  
  
"Ava, jealousy is an ugly thing, and so is your sister."  
  
She smiled and Josh kissed her again.  
  
"A baby." he continued. "Won't it be amazing. For a boy I'm thinking......Carson Josh Ashcroft."  
  
"That doesn't make sense since I've taken your last name."  
  
"Alright, what about Ash Joshua Croft Carson. See, we split your maiden name up."  
  
Ash-Croft Carson??? Ash-Croft Carson. What sort of person inflicts the pain of giving their child the name of Ash-Croft? Why can't celebrities give their children normal names like Sara, Mandy, Harry or John? John. It was the first time she'd thought about him since yesterday when she gave him her e-mail address and promised to keep in touch. Ava excused herself and went into home office, the computer had been left on and it took just a few clicks to get into her account. There was an e-mail waiting  
  
Saw u on the news this morning. Donatella wud of died if the dress wasn't perfect. Luckily it was. Hope u're ego didn't deflate too much after being  
here-John  
  
Ava wasn't sure how to take that last sentance. She didn't have an ego, John was talking out of his ass. What eles was new? She was just about to reply when the door opened and Josh came in.  
  
"Ava, come on, we have a photo shoot in a hour, and you can't go like that."  
  
The studio lights where blinding and burning hot. Ava couldn't see the photographer beyond them or anyone who stood in the background watching. She was having lipgloss applied while a stylist was doing Josh's hair.  
  
"Ava, we need to know who you're wearing." a middle aged red head asked.  
  
"Excuse me, you refer to her as MRS. Carson." Nathen called from somewhere she couldn't see.  
  
She glanced down at herself and reeled off the names automatically.  
  
"Shoes by D&G, skirt and top from Armani."  
  
She nodded. "Perfect, and you look amazing Mrs. Carson."  
  
They all scurried away and Josh looped his arm around her waist.  
  
"Ok, smiles everyone!"  
  
BANG  
  
The camera went off and they shifted positions.  
  
BANG  
  
Once again.  
  
_Hope u're ego didn't deflate too much_  
  
Where did that come from? She didn't have an ego. She commanded respect, she had expectations and people had expectations of her. She was talented and people praised her. There was nothing wrong with that.  
  
"Erm.....Ava?"  
  
"Mrs. Carson!"  
  
"Sorry. Mrs. Carson. Can you smile please?"  
  
She didn't need to see the person to know that it was the photographer, and from his shaking voice he was an amature.  
  
"I am smiling."  
  
"You're not."  
  
"Are you calling my wife a liar?" Josh demanded.  
  
"No...I......"  
  
It never takes much to ruffle a stars feathers. Ava did indeed have a big ego, and when you do they slightest thing can make you feel treatened. Unluckily for the photographer a big ego also meant great power.  
  
"I refuse to work with someone who calls me a liar! Either he goes or I do!"  
  
She stormed off the set and back to her dressing room which had been prepared to her specifications. 100 white candles, 50 pink roses in a crystal vase, a stereo system with a classical music CD that wasn't allowed to have Mozart on and bottles of Evian with a treadmill. This was nothing. When working on a movie Ava put J-Lo to shame. In her view she was justified. She was an Oscar winner (you'll find out that she often used the oscar to get her own way) Ava slammed the door and turned on the CD. She stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself. Let her try and tell herself that she doesn't have an ego now.  
  
It was late that night when an e-mail from Ava arrived in John's inbox and instantly begged for his attention. The subject was 'bastard photographers'  
  
Why must people insist on question others who have more knowledge than  
them? I have done a million photo shoots and I know when I'm smiling or  
not. You'd think they'd be grateful to have an oppotunity to photograph someone of my calibar. I'm going to Florida tomorrow. Josh is taking the  
jet so I'll have to sit with everyone else in first class. Great- A x  
  
John remembered how he use to call Ava 'Asscroft' as a joke. He was beginning to think it wouldn't be such a bad idea now, seeing as she was so full of shit. She just had to know that how she was talking just wasn't normal. Talk about ungrateful. Wasn't in the fans who'd put her where she was? Shouldn't she be kissing then ground they walked on, or at least paying someone else to do it. Asscroft was going to lose it all. It was true, she was, just not in the way John meant it.


	5. Breaking News

Chapter Five: Breaking News  
  
The power of the press never surprised Ava, not anymore. If they could somehow manage to find out exactly what you said with your agent the day you looked pissed off while you sat in your car, they can get anything. A week after she'd arrived on location, Ava was having her make up done when Nathen came in and threw something on her lap. "What is this?" he deamnded.  
  
"Some supermarket rag?"  
  
"Cover Ava! Cover!"  
  
While the make up artist added another layer of red gloss, she looked at the cover. On it was an amature photograph of Ava at her mothers weddinga nd standing next to her was John. The headline screamed: Exposed! Ava Ashcroft's secret affair!  
  
"Bullshit." ava proclamied. "It's bullshit. When has this magazine ever printed the truth?"  
  
"It has the third highest circulation for a publication of it's kind, so it doesn't matter what it prints people read it."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you have a point so make it.''  
  
Ava may have been a snappy little bitch, but never to Nathen. He was the Doctor to her Frankenstine, although she wouldn't have put it like that, but it's the truth so we will. Nathen's jaw dropped a little and for a second it appeard as though he would put his hand of his heart and say something dramatic. He didn't.  
  
"I need to know what's going on with this...this..." he flipped to the main story. "This John."  
  
"We're friends."  
  
"You can tell me Ava, I won't say anything."  
  
That was laughable, Nathen told everyone everything about her, especially Josh.  
  
"I just Nathen, John is my friend."  
  
"So is Kate Hudson!"  
  
Ava shooed the make up artist away and got out of the chair. "Maybe I want a friend who knows what I'm really like. Now if you'll excuse me. I have a movie to shoot."  
  
Now if Ava had seen the magazine, so must have John. Dawn Marie ran over with it just before a show.  
  
"I can't believe this! John this is amazing!"  
  
Rob who had been standing behind John stopped his streches. "What is?"  
  
"This!"  
  
She showed them the front cover. Rob took it off her and Rena had joined the group.  
  
"Dude is this true?"  
  
"What? I have no idea what your talking about!"  
  
"You and Ava Ashcroft." Rena told him.  
  
"I know her."  
  
Dawn squeled again. "Oh my god!"  
  
"So it is true? That you're having an affair with her."  
  
John grabbed the magazine and looked at the main story. It clamied that they had started a passionate affiar at Ava's mother's wedding and where seen leaving together. Ava was apparently leaving Josh and she had never been happier.  
  
"I grew up with Ava." John explained. "We're friends. We are not having an affair."  
  
Dawn looked crest fallen. "But why not?"  
  
Rena laughed. "She's married, that's why!"  
  
Yeah, that and the fact she was so involved in herself she wouldn't see a speeding truck. He wondered if Asscroft knew, she lived in Tinsle Town, she probably knew before the thing hit the stands. John decided to e-mail her to see exactly what she knew. There was already a message from her.  
  
Subject: Our 'Affair' Ignore it. Nathen's got it in control.  
  
Simple. Too the point and Ava's style. John deleted it.  
  
That night Ava had to work late and even though she had been given a vintage dress to wear, her temper was down to a very short fuse. The magazine article had played on her mind and she was finding it hard to concentrate on her lines. What would Josh say? Now personally, I couldn't care less, if I knew the truth then that would be all that mattered. But Ava's profession depended on what other people thought of her, she couldn't have anyone really believeing that she was having an affair with John. Not that she would mind if she was. It would be difficult of course, they where never in the same place long, but Ava had money and a private jet, she could send it to get him.  
  
"What are you smiling at?" the make up girl asked, stopping in front of her lips with a gloss called 'tickled pink'.  
  
"Nothing." Ava replied quickly, embarrasing herself at the thought of having an affair with John. Had she really just tried to work out how her and John could be together? After years of being apart, a marriage and an oscar? She shook her head and the make up girl sighed with annoyance, but said nothing.  
  
"Ready for you on set Mrs. Ashcroft." someone called.  
  
So Ava left wheter the make up girl had finished or not. She couldn't help but be unimpressed be the set. It was a set up of an 1950's manor and for a manor, it was awfully small. Ava stood next to her on screen husband who put his arm around her.  
  
"Right!" the assistant director shouted. "Extra's in place, do not walk directly past Ava, Eric, Christopher or Angelina. Do not look them in the eye and remember we are mouthing our words!"  
  
"Roll music!"  
  
"Rolling music!"  
  
"Camera One!"  
  
"Camera One Rolling!"  
  
"Camera Two!"  
  
"Camera Two Rolling!"  
  
"Action!"  
  
The scene started up and Ava slipped into character. Now she was May Hunter, who was having an affair that would send her husband over the edge. Paul hunter would then kill May's lover James and go after her. During the scene James would pull May away from her husband.  
  
"What are you doing with him?" James hissed.  
  
"He's my husband." May replied, searching the room to make sure he wasn't watching.  
  
"You're a different person around him and I love you."  
  
"I love you too John it's just...."  
  
"CUT!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Ava snapped out of being May just as quickly as she had slipped in.  
  
"James!" the director said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Eric's charcter is James."  
  
Ava rolled her eyes and looked at him as if he had accused her of something awful like wearing last season's shoes.  
  
"I know!"  
  
"You called him John,"  
  
Ava's stomach dropped. "I'm going to my dressing room!" she shot before leaving the set.  
  
That was embarrasing. 


	6. Only We Know

Thank you to K.I.M, Alys Deejay, JohnCenasgrl, JMC and porcelainxdoll for reviewing! Enjoy-Kiera

Ava had never really realised just how difficult it was being married to a movie star until she was away. Being a movie star and being married to one where two different things. She was too use to him being at home with her, she always felt really empty for the first few weeks when she went away. She had noticed this time though, the distinct lack of e-mails from Josh. She couldn't help but feel disheartened, especially when it had been seven whole days without even a word from him. Sitting in her trailer, she was staring hard at her contact list, at Josh's name which remained offline, then the envelope in the corner popped up informing her she had a new e-mail message, from John.

'Hey Ava,

Thought u'd just want to know that SD will be near u 2morrow night. U shud come. Let me know.

John'

Her heart gave a little flutter and she ran outside, still fully dressed up in her fifties housewife clothes. Nathen was on his phone, looking like a straight version of Stanford from 'Sex and the City'. He ended the phone call as soon as he saw her approach.

"What is it this time?" he asked. "The flowers aren't red enough? The CD doesn't have the right songs on, what?"

"Nathen I want to go to Smackdown tomorrow."

"What's that, a new restaurant?" he asked taking out his palm pilot.

"No. It's a wrestling show and I want to go."

Nathen laughed, a big theatrical laugh where he tossed his head back and laughed. "Ava, you cannot be serious."

"Why not?"

He looked at her now and raised his eyebrows. Was she really questioning him?

"Because it's a wrestling show and you are an actress. You do not associate with those sorts of people. Especially not after the allegations last week."

He spoke to her like he was a school teacher, hissing his words and trying to make to perfectly clear that this was the final word on the matter. This had happened before, and Ava would nod and slink away. But now she folded her arms and narrowed her eyes. Perhaps it was the heat, maybe the fact she was pissed off over Josh or that she just wanted to go.

"Nathen , you're right, I am an actress, quiet a successful one at that and I make a lot of money. That money pays your wages do you see where this conversation is going?"

He did, of course he did and truth be told he was gob smacked. Ava had never said anything like that before. He gave a small nod and went away to make a phone call. It only took a few minutes for him to return and he found Ava sitting in the shade watching a scene.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well, Gloria doesn't think it's a good idea either."

A grown man telling tales?

Ava laughed. "It's a good job she isn't my agent then isn't it?"

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"Then you won't be my agent for much longer."

"Ava…."

She held up her hand. "I am a grown women. I can do what I won't and I don't employ people to tell me what to do. Now get me tickets to that show, or get another job."

Nathen wasn't going to defy her. He knew how many wolves out there would kill to get their hands on Ava and destroy everything he had created. If sending her to some wrestling event would keep him in a job, then that's what he'd do. Whether he agreed with it or not.

* * *

The next night, Ava's car pulled up outside the arena and she stepped out, closely followed by Nathen and quickly ushered into the building where she was greeted by none other then Vince McMahon himself.

"Mrs. Carson, it's a pleasure to meet you, it's not often that we get visited by an actress of your magnitude."

He laughed, a great big throaty laugh that scared Ava slightly. But she smiled and shook his hand politely.

"We have reserved ring side seats for you."

"No. It won't do." Nathen cut in. "Mrs. Carson requires a private box with at least four security guards."

Ava rolled her eyes. "Nathen, what is the point of coming if I'm going to be stuck in a box. Ringside would be fantastic Mr. McMahon. I want to be close to the action."

"No, I'm afraid ringside won't be fine. Ava, it's for your own safety."

She could see she was fighting a losing battle. But we already know she's been secretly fighting one for a long time. Deep down she was use to defeat.

"Fine Whatever. But I would like to see John Cena , he's a friend of mine."

Nathen was having a mild heart attack. God, what if the tabloids got hold of this? Ava Carson visiting the man they all thought she was having an affair with? He didn't have time to argue. Vince McMahon was already arranging it.

* * *

John was shown up to the private box, pushed past the four identical looking bodyguards and inside, to where Ava sat waiting. She smiled at him, and just like when he gave her a compliment at Sandra's house. For a second he saw old Ava sitting there.

"You came."

"Indeed I did." She said.

Someone cleared their throats and it was then that John noticed the man in the corner, glaring at him.

"Nathan Rodman." He said with a gracious air.

John hadn't asked.

"My agent." Ava filled in.

John hadn't asked.

"How's the movie going?"

"Mrs. Carson isn't obliged to discuss that." Nathen cut in.

Ava gave John an apologetic look and patted the space next to her. He sat down, well aware that he was being watched.

"How have things been?"

"Oh, hectic." She replied with a sigh. "Gucci want me to dress me for the next Oscars, but I already promised Prada and the nominees aren't even out yet!"

"Must be awful." John muttered. "How's Josh?"

You know when you get those really strange moments, when someone says something and it reminds you of something that happened before? John mentioning Josh reminded Ava of saying his name during the scene the week before and she suddenly felt nervous around him.

"Fine. We haven't been in touch, but I can hardly expect him too, he's off in some jungle in Africa."

She gave a nervous little laugh and quickly examined her nails.

"On the plus side there haven't been anymore ridiculous rumours about me and you."

Dawn had been keeping a watchful eye on the magazines for any sign that John had infact lied to her and was having an affair with Ava. She seemed slightly disappointed that nothing had come up.

Nathen cleared his throat and made a great show of looking at his watch and acting surprised.

"Well look at that! The show will be starting soon so it's probably about time you went."

John leaned close to Ava and whispered "I'll see you later." Before giving her a kiss on the cheek.

The reason? There could be many. To make the agent angry. To comfort Ava. I'll tell you the real reason., I'll let you all in on a secret. Like before, when she let slip to an entire camera crew, John had just let slip that he was indeed falling in love with her, after a two week reunion. But the time is irrelevant, you can't help who you fall in love with. Had they forgotten Nathen had seen the whole thing? There are even more obstacles in their way then either of them could imagine.


	7. From Every Side

A/N: Thank you to monika, Alys deejay, REM 4488 and Tdot for reviewing.  
And I have to put the cliff-hangers in to keep you guys interested! Enjoy-Kiera  
  
Chapter Seven It seemed that the evening would go off without a hitch until half an hour before the show ended when a young women brought up some nachos.  
"On the house." she explained and the trolley she brought in with her caused Nathen to shake his head.  
"Mrs. Carson is on a special diet. One of which nacho's aren't apart of. So kindly take this toxic filth away." The girl nodded and pushed the trolley back out of the room. Nathen sighed loudly.  
"Who did she think you where? A regular person. Jesus! Anyway Ava, I think we should go to avoid crowds." "Crowds? Nathen I'm going out the back way, there won't be any crowds and John hasn't even wrestled yet." "Ava! Now!" Not so long ago, Nathen may have gotten away with it. But not now, and he knew instantly that he wouldn't. Ava turned to look at him and frowned. She actually frowned.  
"Excuse me?" "Ava I have no idea what's come over you lately, thinking you now best, but it stops now. You have more important things to think about then some old friend with a crush on you." "Nathen. I am going to stay here whether you like it or not. I'll get myself back to the hotel so I think you should probably leave before I fire you." He had been so determined to fix whatever was wrong with Ava right there and then. He didn't like this attitude she was beginning to develop, but Nathen wasn't stupid. He picked up his bag and swept out of the room with his nose in the air. Ava shook her head in disbelief. Why was Nathen trying to control her? Or, maybe…, no, that was too scary to even think about. But the words burst out into her brain. What if Nathen had been like that all along and she was only just beginning to notice? No, that was absurd. Why would she just begin to notice now. Down in the ring below, John was coming out. Seeing him made something in Ava jolt, she wasn't suppose to be there. She had to get back to the hotel and call Josh immediately. She pulled on her leather coat, picked up her D&G bag and left the private box.  
  
Security could only take her so far, a fight broke out in the stands and they had to go help. She didn't mind, everyone was still in their seats, no one would see her. Outside it was cold and the car was gone.  
"Bastard!" Ava muttered under her breath, making a mental note to fire Nathen as soon as she saw him. She walked a little away from the arena and pulled out her cell phone, a private cab was her best option. Just as she had dialled the number she heard a mass of footsteps approaching and then:  
"Hey! Are you….? Holy crap it's Ava Carson!" Ava put her phone away and smiled, that was until she saw the number of fans making their way to her. There where hundreds, fans who had left their seats to try and get a glimpse of wrestlers leaving the arena early.  
"To think I wanted to meet the Dudley's! Here, sign this!" A thick white pad and marker pen where thrust into her face and she signed it graciously. Then there was another and another, and another. There where all closing in around her, screaming her name.  
She felt a hand sneak into her coat pocket.  
"Hey!" "Oh cool! I've got her phone!" "Give me that back!" The thief ignored her and disappeared laughing to herself. It was time to go.  
"Sorry guys, I have to go!" she called loudly, giving her most sincere smile.  
The fans didn't move and she only managed to push past a few.  
"I didn't get an autograph!" "Yeah. Sign this for me!" "Come on, this is what your suppose to do!" "I can't!" Ava called, now feeling panicked. "I have to go." Ava didn't think it was possible, but the fans closed in closer. They where right in her face, blocking her escape, all screaming and shouting. She saw a break in them and dived to take it, but hands grabbed her coat and pulled her back in. There hands where in her hair, tugging her head back to try and get her attention, they where shaking her arms, a few pinching and Ava couldn't breath. This was her worst nightmare. A burst of adrenaline came over her and Ava pushed them out of her way and ran right back to the arena with the fans giving chase. As luck would have it (because otherwise Ava would have been stuck), the back door to the arena opened and a wrestler whose name she didn't know was coming out. She thanked her lucky stars, and ran through the halls.  
  
John was lead to Ava by a security guard, and found her trying to reapply her smudged make up in a small mirror. It seemed she wasn't having much success.  
"Are you alright?" John asked her.  
She looked at him through the mirror. "Of course not. Would you be?" "You seem fine." And she really did. There didn't appear to be a mark on her and she wasn't sitting in a corner rocking back and forwards. She waited until the security guard had left the room and closed the door. She put her lip gloss down and turned to John, holding out her hand which was shaking.  
"I need to keep up appearances, don't I?" "Did they hurt you?" Ava shook her head. "No. It was my fault really. I've never been out anywhere without a body guard. I didn't know what to do." "Where's your agent?" "He's probably back at the hotel. He took off in the car, which was the whole reason I got into this mess." Ava gave a little laugh and promptly started crying. John ran right over and put his arms around her.  
"It's alright." "I know. I'm just shaken. It's all Nathen's fault." She quickly pulled back from him and checked her mascara. "Don't tell anyone you saw me cry." she said seriously.  
"Don't worry Asscroft." Ava either didn't hear that, or ignored it. With a quick flick of her hair she turned back to him.  
"Come on, let's go out. Give them all something to talk about." And they sure as hell would 


	8. Lies My Sister told

The club Ava gave him directions to was so new he hadn't even heard of it yet. But Ava was already on the guest list, or her alter ego was.

"Welcome to Rendezvous Ms. Styles, right this way."

The bouncers unclipped the velvet rope and let the two of them past, shouting to someone else to show them up to a private suite.

"You can take off your sunglasses." John shouted to Ava over the pounding music.

"That's what you think. They cost nearly eight thousand dollars, I need to get my wear out of them." She replied, pushing the door to the suite opening and tipping the bouncer.

The private suite was made entirely out of glass, dimly lit and decorated in cream standing high above the dancers and drinkers below. Ava threw her bag and coat onto one of the sofa's and went over to the main wall. She put her hands on the glass and looked down.

"Sometimes I think I don't belong here." she muttered so low that John didn't hear.

He stood right behind her and looked over her shoulder.

"Sometimes I don't think me and Josh are meant to be together." she went on. "Sometimes I think I should of just stayed where I was."

Once again, John heard nothing. Ava turned back to him.

"Come on, let's order ridiculously expensive drinks."

She picked the menu up and scanned it quickly. John wanted to ask her more about what had happened in the parking lot. For that brief second that she had cried, when she'd been human again, John wasn't sure what to do. He had adapted to Hollywood's version of Ava Carson so quickly that he couldn't remember how to handle the real her. Where was the script when he needed it? By the time Ava's voice had snapped him out of his thoughts, where was someone in the room ready to take his drinks order.

"I'll just have a beer" he said quietly and Ava dismissed the man with a wave of her hand. She got up and went back to the wall.

"This is the first time I've been out without an entourage of fifty since....."

"Before you met Josh." John finished with her. It wasn't a question because he knew.

She nodded. "Yep. Me and the girls I use to live with would lie to get into bars in the hope some casting director would see us and catapult us to fame. It's stupid really."

"It happened to you."

She nodded again. "Yeah. I was just a nobody."

"You where never a nobody."

Ava laughed, a stage laugh of course. "Don't go all sentimental on me John. I was a nobody, but no matter what happens as of now, I'll never be a nobody again. People will always remember me."

The man came in and set their drinks down before leaving quickly.

"Do you ever wish....."

"No." Ava interrupted. Whatever he had to say, she didn't need to hear. "I've got everything I dreamed of. I don't wish I had anything else, I don't need it."

We know this isn't true, because ever since she said John instead of James, as much as she would of loved to deny it, Ava knew she was falling back in love with him. She wished she had him. Even when the thoughts went through her head then, she was quick to chase them away and remind herself of gorgeous Josh somewhere in Africa, of her Oscar in the display cabinet of her mansion in Hollywood and of her millions in the bank. Her and John never worked the first time around, they certainly wouldn't work out now, nine years later. Not with so much between them now.

* * *

Nathen didn't speak to Ava for two whole days, which was just fine with her. She was still debating whether or not to fire his ass. There where thousands of people all dying to work for a star like her, replacing him would be no problem. She was halfway through shooting a scene when Nathen stormed on set.

"Cut!" he yelled. "Cut!"

"Hey! That's my line!" the director shouted.

"What is going on?" Ava asked.

"I need to talk to you right now."

He grabbed her, digging the tiffany's bracelet into her arm and dragging her off the set into her trailer. Wouldn't this be the final straw for you? If you earned millions of dollars and was adored by millions of people world wide, would you let a nobody humiliate you in front of Eric Bana?

"Explain this to me!" he shouted holding something up.

Ava didn't even look at it. "I don't have to explain anything to you."

"No. But you will have to explain to the world's media and your husband. You told me nothing was going on."

Only then did she take the thing out of his hand. It was another magazine and on it's front page there was a huge picture of Ava and John in the club.

'EXCLUSIVE! Ava Carson's secret affair! Full details inside and we talk to Ava's sister!'

If it had been the same magazine as last time, she would of dismissed it. Only it wasn't. It was a good, reputable magazine, one she read herself. Ava quickly flipped to the pages it stated the story as being on. There where three pictures, one of the two of them in high school, one at the wedding and one at the club. She began to read but Nathen pulled it from her hands and did it for her.

"It looks like it's over for Josh and Ava Carson as we exclusively reveal Ava's affair with high school sweetheart and wwe superstar John Cena. If our pictures of the two seen getting close two nights ago aren't proof enough we spoke to Justine Ashcroft, Ava's older sister who confirmed it all." Nathen lowered the magazine. "How can you just throw this all away! Ava are you insane!"

"I am not having an affair with John! We went out for drinks after you abandoned me and that was it! It's nothing!"

"Ava this is twice something like this has showed up since you two met back up. Even your own sister says something is going on!"

"That I can sort right now." Ava told him getting up.

It was time for a little trip home.

* * *

John didn't see the magazine, and to say he didn't even know about it would be a lie. His mother called him that morning as soon as she returned from the store.

"I hope you know that you're breaking up a marriage!" was how she started the conversation

"Mom, what are you talking about?"

"You and Ava Carson! It's all over the magazines! I mean of course I remember you had a thing when you where kids, but I didn't know you where seeing her again. John I thought more of you! She's married!"

"I've seen her, but I'm not _seeing _her. We're friends. We e-mail."

"They say you're having an affair! Even her sister said so!"

John swore mentally. Things could only get worse, and of course we know they will.


	9. Home Truths

One of the luxuries of being famous was having a private jet and within a matter of hours Ava was standing outside Justine's front door looking perfect, even if she did say so herself (and of course she often did). Justine was on the phone when she answered the door and didn't even look at her properly.

"Yes, of course it's all true." she was saying.

"If you're talking about me I swear to god I'll sue you."

And we know she meant it.

Justine hung up quickly and tried to close her mouth. "Ava. What are you doing here?"

"Visiting my lover John, obviously."

Ava pushed her way past Justine and into the tiny living room.

"Well? Are you going to explain to me why my name is splashed all over the papers?"

"I thought you enjoyed that sort of thing." Justine commented.

"Do you know how much damage your little stunt has done? The whole of Hollywood thinks I'm a whore and you could of ruined my marriage. Why?"

"My kids need clothes Ava."

Ava screamed and pulled at her hair. "You did this for money? I'm your goddamn sister Justine, I would of given you money!"

"I don't want it off you!" Justine shot back. "I want to be able to provide for my children on my own."

"So you made up some crap about me?"

Justine shrugged and sat down. "Do you ever think you deserve it?"

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Look at you. You're a cardboard cut out. You're not my sister and frankly I don't give a damn about you."

Ava laughed and shook her head. "You may not, but 4 billion people do."

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"There's an Oscar with my name on!"

"If I was you I wouldn't be so proud of that. All it means is that you're good at pretending to be something you're not."

"If you where me you'd actually have a life."

"I have one! I have a family. What do you have?"

"Money!" Ava shouted back. "I have fame and money and everything I've ever wanted. You think I'm a bitch because I never gave up on my dream and ended up with something I never wanted."

"What is that suppose to mean?" Justine demanded getting to her feet.

"Look around! Look at his house, look at you! Justine you never wanted to end up like this."

"Look at you Ava. You're a cold hearted, narrow minded, attention seeking money hungry bitch. I suggest you fly back to your palace and take a long hard look at yourself. Now get out."

"You know Justine, you need therapy."

"I need therapy! Look in the mirror Ava! I don't know who you are anymore, but you're not my sister. You are not Ava Ashcroft."

"No, I'm Ava Carson and there's a difference."

"There shouldn't be." Justine said sadly, and the Ava left.

The next day the papers where full of it. It had all been lies concocted by Justine Ashcroft to make easy money. There was nothing going on between Ava and John. Too late? The whole world could see it, it was in all the pictures, the intangible thing that couples who claim to be soul mates have. Nathen and Gloria where panicking, Josh was unaware, the whole world could see it, and soon so would they.


	10. And They Say

The damage was already done, the rot had already set in. Every television show was talking about it. They all wanted to know how much truth was in Justine's rumours. Nathen was hounded with faxes and phone calls, more then once shooting had to be stopped so undercover reporters could be escorted off the set. Eventually it was called of all together and Nathen escorted Ava straight to her car.

"Josh called. He's flying back the end of this week."

"What for?" Ava asked, pulling off her shoes as soon as the door to the car closed.

"Crisis talks, to show a united front. So the whole world can see how much crap this really was. We need to do damage limitation starting now."

"There's no damage done."

"Ava have you read the papers." Nathen paused. "I really need to know, what's going on with you and John, you can trust me."

She rolled her eyes and was more interested in taking her work make-up off and applying every day make-up before they reached the hotel.

"We...are...friends." She told him slowly. "Get that through your head."

"You're going need John to sign a few forms, so he won't sell his side of the story."

"There is no story!"

"Ava this is your career! Your life! Everything you built, everything we built and I refuse to let you waste it!"

He had gone red in the face and Ava had stopped applying her eyeliner.

"Fine." she said quietly. "Whatever."

John saw the reports they showed on the news, when they played every hour he couldn't escape them. First a picture of Ava at some premier would show in the corner with the headline 'Ava's Affair'. Then the report would start up:

"Hollywood movie star Ava Carson is said to be devastated over the rumours her sister spread that she was having an affair. Justine Ashcroft stated in a magazine that Ava was having an affair with childhood friend and WWE superstar John Cena. Today she admitted the reports where a lie, but this has not been enough to silence critics."

Requests from newspapers came after every news programme, John wasn't sure how they got his number. He had to speak to her and find out how she was, but his last e-mail had gone unanswered and she usually replied within an hour. John was worried and he was beginning to realise why. He'd been in love with her for years, why else would he follow everything she did with the same obsession that is usually reserved for teenage girls and boy bands. He'd always tried to fool himself and claim it was because he knew her and he wanted her to do well. But we know this isn't true, after all hadn't he expected Ava to fail? Of course John wouldn't admit it, why would he? Hear it yourself.

"I'm in love with a Hollywood actress."

You'd laugh right. Try it again.

"I'm in love with a Hollywood actress and she's married."

It just gets more absurd.

"I'm in love with a Hollywood actress, she's married and I missed my chance with her nine years ago."

But take all that away. Take away all that what we know Ava is now and for a second pretend she's normal.

"I'm in love with Ava Carson."

See, doesn't sound so absurd now does it? That's exactly what John thought when he said it out loud after going through them all. That's exactly what John though before his heart stopped, he groaned and his confession was followed by:

"Oh no."

The movie was halted for the week and Ava flew home to wait for Josh. She didn't dare go near her computer and on the morning he arrived the hairdressers and make-up artists arrived to make her....well usually I would use to word beautiful, but here I can't because she already was. She dressed in a blue silk top sent by Gucci a few weeks earlier, skinny jeans and Stella Mc Cartney shoes. Josh was waiting at the bottom of the stairs wearing sunglasses and a suede jacket.

"You look great." he commented. "It must be all the extra martial sex you've been having."

"You don't really believe that do you?" Ava asked.

He shrugged. "Should I?"

And then, what happened, what was said next even shocked Ava herself.

"Give me some more credit Josh. John Cena? If I was going to have an affair I'd go after Jude Law."

Josh smiled. "I know. I knew John was below you, but look at you. I couldn't help but worry."

She took off his sunglasses and gave him a kiss. "Don't worry."

Another kiss was off the cards though, strange considering they'd been apart so long. Josh pulled back.

"Gloria and Nathen are coming over tonight to help us fix this."

"We don't need them for everything."

"Ava, this is our careers, this involves them."

"I be to differ. This is our marriage, it involve us."

Wow, did you just hear that. The same attitude and tone she had taken with Nathen not so long ago was spreading to Josh. Here to goes.

"Ava what has gotten into you? I know, John Cena. Me and Gloria agree you shouldn't have any contact with him, it only causes trouble."

"Josh! John is my friend."

She sounded like a spoilt friend.

"Make friends with Angelina, she's better for you."

"Angelina Jolie, your ex?"

Josh sighed. "Don't fight me on this Ava, you won't win. It's for the best. Now come on, Gloria has given us the go ahead to talk to the press and they are all at the gates."

He put his arm around her waist and opened the door. They walked down the gravel path and stopped just behind the iron gates. Cameras and voices started immediately, Josh raised his hand and they fell silent.

"Me and Ava are here today to not only quash all rumours of an affair, but deny having any involvement with John Cena at all."

He stopped, Ava's turn to take over. Her throat had gone dry. Could she do this? Of course she could. Her Oscar said so.

"Josh is right. The extent of my relationship with John Cena in recent months has been a five minute conversation between me and him at my mother's wedding. We aren't even friends."

That was the sound bite they began playing on the news as of then.

Poor John.

Ouch


	11. She's So Lucky

Chapter Eleven: ....She's so Lucky

That night, Gloria showed up at the house. A yellow pant suit that day with glitter around the cuffs. Ava couldn't look at her, it literally hurt her eyes. Nathen arrived shortly after and the four of them sat at the small table in the kitchen. Gloria and Nathen had gathered together all the stories the magazines had ran and summarized them all in an 'easy to read' format.

"Thankfully it isn't as bad as we first thought. Although all the magazine's have ran retractions of Justine's story they are beginning to speculate how much truth was in the rumour."

"We'll have to wait until tomorrow to see how they take what you said today."

Gloria and Nathen spoken as a unit rather then two separate people that hated each other.

"Well, we've done everything we possibly can." Ava said.

Gloria shook her head as she imagined Gloria would.

"There is only one thing that is going to fix this."

And don't we all know exactly what she's going to say....

John saw the news, he heard the sound bite and he laughed. He laughed and he secretly thanked whatever higher force had made him watch the news and hear that. It brought him back down to Earth. What was he thinking? How many other men in the world would claim they where in love with Ava if asked? Though, hadn't it been different with him? Hadn't he been sure there had been some spark between them? Wasn't Ava, god forbid, herself, around him? Well sometimes at least. John had to remember who she was, who he was and all the things in between. All the things that had happened which meant they could never be together.

1) Ava was married.

2) Ava didn't feel the same

3) Ava denied even knowing him

4) Ava...

John stopped at number four, what was the point of going any futhur with it? He just at to look at her on the tv screen to know all that. Dressed up in designer clothes, with the perfect husband, too much cash and too many people trying to turn her into something else when what she originally was, was just fine. Yeah, John was glad she said what she did.

Yeah right.

"Am I the only person who can see a problem with this?" Ava asked, safely back in Hollywood. She was gesturing so wildly she almost knocked her glass of water over. "They will call it the Band-Aid Baby!"

"Maybe not," Nathen told her. "We have two choices here. One we wait six to eight months, once this has all settled down. Or, and this is the option me, Gloria and Josh already discussed, you get pregnant immediately and we tell the press you where pregnant before all this."

He smiled. Gloria smiled. Josh smiled. Ava knocked her glass onto the floor where it smashed.

"Where anyone of you going to tell me? Or where you going to wait until I fell asleep?"

"Ava, calm down!"

"I will not calm down!" Ava screamed.

She was frowning. Wow, she must have been pissed. Josh noticed.

"Ava you'll give yourself lines."

"Fuck lines! I will not have a baby to fix a marriage that isn't broken! I'm not going to defend myself against lies. I'm not going to do any of this."

She stood up, with Josh pulled her back down.

"Ava! We're doing this for you."

If it had been a cartoon, there would have been an image of the inside of Ava's head, a little man sitting at a computer desk would of screamed and exploded, steam would pour from her ears.

"Me! No you're doing this for yourselves, because if my career fails, so do all yours."

"If you hadn't started this mess with John..." Nathen began.

"There is no mess with John!" Ava replied. "He's my friend and I have no idea why you take the presses side."

"You're married." Josh cut in. "If you have friends like John people will jump to conclusions."

"Funny how no one makes that conclusion with you and Scarlett Johansson ."

Ava rubbed her head.

"Stress." Gloria said. "That's all it is Ava. I think we should put both films on hold a futhur two weeks so you and Josh can have a break together."

"No. I think I should have a break alone, to think everything over."

"There's no time." Nathen told her. "You and Josh need to go away together if we even have a chance of pregnancy option 2."

"Make time." Ava warned, then she swept out the room.

Here we go, this is what you've all been waiting for. She's about to blow.

Ava Carson seemed to be all people could talk about. John found himself watching E! They where playing 'It's Good To Be....Ava Carson'. Someone claiming to be a 'close' friend was talking about her.

"Ava is just beautiful." she was saying. "She's got everything! She's talented, has a beautiful husband. She's so lucky! What else could she want?"

"Me." John added, forgetting that he was suppose to be glad.

But she didn't. Like the women said Ava had everything and as long as she was in Hollywood or shooting movies John could get on fine.

But if she did that we wouldn't have a story would we?


	12. She's A Star

The pile of Lois Vuitton luggage was stacked next to Ava like a mini pyramid, and she tipped the driver $50 and gave him an autograph for his daughter. She straightened her leather jacket and rang the door bell. Sandra answered quickly, her features quickly registering her surprise.

"Oh! Ava! What are you doing here? I thought you where home. The women on the television keeps using the word crisis a lot."

"I need...it's just....we think." Ava stopped and then said "Mom, I think my marriage is in trouble."

It took a hell of a lot of Ava to admit that to herself, let alone anyone else, but how long have we know? We, the impartial outsiders? We could see it right from the start couldn't we? Well, at least she knew now. Sandra called for William (who Ava shot a look of disgust) and asked him to take Ava's things upstairs while she made her a cup of tea. She gave it to her in a old pink mug that Ava remembered buying for a mother's day eleven years ago.

"Why?" Sandra asked. "You and Josh seem perfect for each other."

"But the point is, I don't think we are."

Sandra got up and ushered out the room before returning seconds later with a thick book, she flipped it open and showed Ava.

"This is every single clipping from every single thing you've ever done."

And it was, from her very first publicity shot, to the same interview regurgitated in seven different magazines, to a picture from every angle at the Oscars down to the John scandal. Sandra was more interested in showing her pictures of her with Josh.

"Look Ava, look at this. The two of you are a wonderful couple and you have a life other people only dream about. You got out of here and made something of yourself. You have everything you ever wanted."

But she didn't. As she sat there, drinking tea, Ava though about it, she thought about what she had wanted and what she had now. She hadn't wanted controlling agents who planned her whole life, she hadn't wanted a husband who was a lap dog. She hadn't wanted to be a bitch and forget where she had come from. But it had happened , look at her now.

"Ava, your father would be so proud of you. You won an Oscar! Who could ever believe that little Ava Rose would ever win an Oscar?"

Ava couldn't help but smile, for some reason that little gold statue brought her so much joy. But as she thought about it, proudly standing on the mantelpiece at home, and how early reports where already suggesting she was nominated for 'Best Supporting Actress', something Justine said came into her head.

"_If I was you I wouldn't be so proud of that. All it means is that you're good at pretending to be something you're not."_

"Mom, Josh wants me to have a baby."

Sandra's weary features lit up. "Really? That's fantastic! Another Grandchild!"

"No, Mom, I'm not going to get pregnant."

Wow, she had decided without anyone else help. The surprises keep coming.

"Why not?"

"I don't want a baby with Josh..." she paused before adding. "...now, not like this."

Stopping after saying 'Josh' would have been better, but saying that meant having to question all sorts of other things about herself and her life. Remember when I said the first time you lose faith in something is terrifying? Well when it happens the second time it's worse somehow, Ava knew that, she didn't want to feel like that yet.

"I have to go see John."

"Ava no. You can't! The press!"

But Ava was already gone.

When John opened the door, Ava was there and it was just Ava. There where no designer labels, no smoky eyes and shiny jewellery, just her. Granted the white vest top she was wearing was probably D&G and her jeans where probably Calvin Kline, but she looked like just Ava.

"Hey." she greeted with a smile.

"I thought you and Josh where having...."

"Crisis talks? Wasn't just us, it was the agents as well and they where....I had to get away from them."

"Why not go to Italy? You have a house there."

"I know, it's my house, look, can I come in?"

John stepped aside and Ava walked in, but went no futhur then the hall.

"I shouldn't of told the press I didn't know you." She said in a small voice. "But you saw the way they twisted everything and they could tear my life apart. I had to do it, I had to save everything."

He nodded as though he understood, but didn't really. "It's fine."

"No it's not. My agent wanted me to stop talking to you, he took away my laptop."

"Ava, why are you here?"

"I told you...."

"No." John said. "Here, as in, my house. To tell me you're sorry?"

"Yes...no. John, look..."

Even before she could say anything, John could sense what was coming. It was like he'd heard it all before or something.

"Ava don't. Me and you where high school flings. Flings do not happen again years later, especially between me and you. I'm a wrestler and you're...."

"Married?" Ava guessed.

"A star."

Her insides deflated, but you would never know it. With a flick of her hair, she flashed a small and pulled her persona back on as though it was a jumper.

"I wasn't even going to say anything like that." she told him. "I was just going to say, let's be friends."

John's insides deflated, but you would never know it. Instead he said.

"We can't. You're a start."


	13. In The End, It Doesn't Even Matter

That night, Sandra sent William out, called off her babysitting duties and baked a chicken and ham pie, Ava's favourite when she was a child. They ate it sitting by the television watching the news, Ava couldn't help noticing all the DVD's with her name on the side.

"Ava, is it serious between you and Joshua?"

"Is what serious?"

"The problems you're having, is it serious? Do you think you'll get a divorce?"

The answers was no, only because Gloria and Nathen would rather have her die then divorce, at least Josh could play grieving husband rather then angry ex. Plus she could see in Sandra's eyes that she couldn't handle another daughter divorcing again, especially not her.

"No Mom, I don't think we'll get a divorce. We'll work through it."

"Sometimes, when I see you on the television I forget who you are and I think, her Mother must be so proud. Then you turn around and I can see your eyes and I remember that you're mine and I am proud."

Ava stopped eating, and not because someone had given her a hard kick under the table, because she was shocked. Really shocked, so deeply she thoughts he was going to cry.

"Mom, I'm still your baby."

She sounded almost desperate. Sandra smiled.

"No dear, you're not. Marissa Kirsten and Austin are my babies now. You're Ava and you're all grown up. I hardly get to see you."

"I'll fly you out to Hollywood, William too."

"You're always so busy! Who else can say their daughter is an Oscar winner, besides Nicole Kidman's but personally I think there's no public interest since she and Tom broke up."

Sandra carried on eating and watching the news for a few minutes before taking a deep breath.

"You can tell me if you and Joshua are going to break up. I would like to know."

Gloria's voice cut through her head.

_Under no circumstances are you to tell anyone the depth of this. All you say is, we're fine._

"Mom," she paused and her first instinct was to listen to Gloria, the second was fuck her. "We're fine."

Sandra smiled, she was satisfied, but Ava wasn't. Fuck Gloria, Fuck Nathen and fuck Josh. Inside her head, she could hear a voice.

"My name's Ava. I've just reailsed my life is an illusion, my marriage is a sham, I have no free will and I'm in love with someone else. Oh, and I have no idea who I am anymore."

She wanted to get out of there and just think, but she couldn't. Why not? There was no one there telling her she couldn't, demanding she take a driver and a minder so why not? Ava thought the same too.

"Mom, can I lend your car?"

For a very long time, Ava just sat in the front seat, listening to the low hum of the radio not really moving and ignoring the made, hysterical ring of her phone. At some point she fell asleep and woke up abruptly at seven am, praying that nobody with a camera had even seen her. Ava woke up with her head on the steering wheel and looked at the steamed up window. It took some time before she reailsed there was someone knocking on the door.

"Ava."

A muffled voice called through the door, but she didn't move.

"Ava, open the door, or at least move so I know you haven't died."

It was then she sat up with a stiff neck (as you would get if you'd slept on a steering wheel) and pushed the door open. There was John and her heart soared again.

"What are you doing?"

"I came looking for you. Your Mom phoned. Josh is here."

You wouldn't expected the thought of your husband to make you want to physically vomit, but she could feel it rising up in her throat. Not Josh, he couldn't be there, she didn't want him to be there.

"Are you ok, you look a little green."

She shook her head and got out of the car.

"Why is he here? What does he want? I told him I needed a break."

John shrugged. "He must miss you. I guess if he knows your marriage is in trouble he wants to fix it."

Right then and there Ava had an epiphany. Standing by her mothers banged up old car, looking like crap, with John, she reailsed everything that had been wrong. She laughed because if she didn't do that she was going to cry.

"My marriage isn't in trouble John, it's over."

"What? Why? You seemed so happy."

"I'm not, I don't even know what it is to feel happy. Me and Josh are a sham, I don't want to be with him. I want to...."

"Ava don't."

"I want to be with you." she finished.

Oh my god, she actually said it. Give her the first round of applause she actually deserves. We've know this from the start, it's taken her thirteen chapters to realise this, of course this can't be a good sign and if it was a movie everything would have been alright, the screen would fade to black after and close up kiss. Please.

"John, I'm in love with you. I want to be with you and I don't care what it takes. You make me feel whole."

"Don't do this Ava!" John shouted.

His voice was so loud that Ava was taken back. Wasn't he suppose to carry her far away?

"Look at me! Look at you! You're Ava Carson and I'm not in love with you, you're not the same! I knew you when you had ideas, when you could think on your own, when you made mistakes and didn't care what people thought of you. I loved Ava Ashcroft and I know she's still in you because I've seen her and fallen in love with her again."

"We're the same person."

"You're not, and no matter what we say today, you won't be the same person. You can't even change because you can't see it."

Ava took off her ring, she slid the rock off her finger and slammed it down on the roof of the car.

"Don't make me go back to him."

"He's your husband and he loves you."

"No he doesn't."

John took the ring and put it back on her finger.

"It doesn't matter, I can't be with you, I can't because....I just can't"

Bullshit.

She knew it, despite all the evidence that suggests the opposite, Ava wasn't stupid. She slapped John as hard as she could, with the flat on her hand and it gave a satisfying crack.

"You asshole."

She didn't say anymore but really, did she need to?

Later that day, Ava Carson got back on her private jet and flew back to Hollywood with her husband and a broken heart. Poor girl.


	14. Due For A Miracle

A?N: Apologise for my abscene, I'm having servere internet problems that should be resolved soon. Sorry!-Kiera

There was a lot of head shaking and tutting when Ava arrived home, but she didn't care. Let them think what they wanted. They had already decided on a plan of action as they informed her as soon as she walked through the front door.

"The pregnancy option is the only way to go." Gloria informed her, there was no 'mwah' this time.

"What if I say no?" Ava asked.

"Why would you do that?"

"Maybe I don't want a baby."

Josh laughed a slid an arm around her waist. "Ava, we already talked about this. Why would you not want a baby?"

Because the marriage was a sham and she wanted to be with John, but she didn't say that, of course she didn't, we know her better then that don't we?

"I'm too young, and I don't want to get stretch marks."

Nathen give a huge sigh of exasperation, as though he couldn't believe she was being so difficult about something that was perfectly logical.

"Really Ava, sometimes you are just so selfish. What about Josh? Do you have any idea the damage you have done with your little affair."

Not this again.

"It wasn't an affair for gods sake. How many more times do I have to say it?"

"Ava, this baby could save us." Josh told her quietly.

"Now we've consulted your doctor already and you need to do a test, but hopefully you could be pregnant by next month."

Why not? Ava thought. Before it had been because of John, but Mr 'you've changed' didn't want nothing to do with her did he? So why not stay in her sham marriage and have a sham baby?

"Whatever." Ava replied.

She pushed Josh off her and went upstairs. On Gloria's advice he followed.

She couldn't help it, sitting in a robe as she was suppose to be getting ready for a premier, Ava sat in front of her computer typing out an e-mail to John.

John,

I know what you said but this is the last chance. I love you. I want to be with you. Shouldn't that be the only thing that matters? I'll leave Josh if you say yes. Please, I hate it here.- A x

She sent it and despite Josh's constant hammering on the door, she waited until she had a reply. It never came and she had to get ready. Josh was busy with his hair when she went back into the bedroom. He smiled at her.

"What have you been doing?" he asked.

"Nothing."

He kissed her on the cheek. "I'm so glad you came around to this baby idea, Brad and Jen will have nothing on us."

That was a very good point, the whole world would be far more interested in her then Jennifer Aniston. Josh left the room and Ava went over to the mirror to fix her make up. Later, when she was ready she went downstairs to wait for the car, Josh was nowhere around and Ava turned to the full length mirror on the wall to check her dress. She caught a look at her reflection and stopped. Who the hell was that looking at her? Some strange women with a face full of carefully placed make up and shiny hair, a women who was going to have a baby simply because someone had told her to. For a second Ava was truly and utterly convinced she was looking at someone else's reflection. The person she was looking at hadn't liked her new stepfather on the simple basis that he didn't look like George Clooney, she'd threatened to sue to her own sister. Who was she? She wasn't Ava. Suddenly, just by looking at herself she understood what Justine and John had been talking about. There was a big difference between Ava Ashcroft and Ava Carson. It was strange, she'd been vain enough the look at herself in the mirror all the time, why had this time been the time that made it all different? John, and for once even she knew that. Ava didn't like it, she didn't like the fact that the person she was looking at was the reason she couldn't bee happy. This person was the creation of Hollywood. She began to panic, Ava took off her shoe and hurled it at the mirror, it shattered into a million tiny pieces that rained down on her and she didn't care. Ava sunk to the floor, crying in a way she usually saved for the huge dramatic scenes in movies. She began grabbing at the pieces of glass which cut her hands and made them bleed. The noise summoned the house keeper from the kitchen.

"Mrs. Carson! What's wrong?"

She ran over and attempted to help her, but Ava pushed her away. She didn't want her or anyone who would undoubtedly come running, she wanted her mother, her sister and John.

"I'll go get Mr Carson."

"No!" Ava said suddenly grabbing her leg. "No don't! Please!"

"But you're upset."

"No, don't get him, please don't get him."

"You're cut, you're hurt. He'll understand Mrs. Carson."

Then the housekeeper went, walking quickly out of the house to get Josh out of his car and tell him how much of a state his wife was in. Ava got to her own feet, her heart was hammering so much she thought she was going to throw up. She really couldn't stay there and have Josh summon the agents and assistants and anyone else he needed to tell about his terrible tragedy. With one shoe on and her hands bleeding, Ava made her escape out the back door. Only a minute or so later, Josh arrived in the house calling her name.

"She was crying and bleeding an awful lot." the house keeper explained.

Josh took off his sunglasses and examined the mess left on the floor.

"Ava!" he shouted, knowing full well she was unlikely to call back. "Martha, will you please call Gloria and Nathen and tell them Ava has had an accident."

The house keeper and nodded, Josh went upstairs to look for his wife, and Ava's escape was already well under way.


	15. The Ground So Far Below

Chapter Fifteen-The Ground So Far Away.

Ava ran. She ran the way she did when she was nine and terrified that if the neighbours dog got her then it was going to eat her. She ran the way she did on a treadmill when she'd been told she had to lose three pounds by Tuesday and it was Friday. In other words Ava ran like her life depended on it, which was hard considering she was wearing one shoe and her hands hurt. In her mind, all she had to go was get to the nearest hotel and call her Mom to pick her up. Any hotel would do, any hotel where she could lock the door and use the phone. She would be damned if she stayed there any longer after what she saw in that mirror. Home was where the heart was, home was where John was and now she knew it would all be okay. Ava would call E! and give them one hell of an exclusive. She tore across the road, and stopped when a piece of glass pushed itself further into her foot, she gave a yelp and hoped then she was pulled backwards into a car. A limousine with Josh inside, and for once just Josh.

"Drive!" he barked and Ava screamed blue murder.

"Get off me now!"

"Ava you're sick. It's stress and you're not well but we'll get you some help."

"Get off me now!"

Josh pushed her to the floor and her dress gave a rip, so much for quality.

"Do you know what your jeopardizing?"

"I don't care! I don't want to be an Actress if the price is my identity! I don't want to be your wife, I don't want your baby! I want to go home and away from you!"

"You don't know what your saying!" Josh told her, and Ava threw her other shoe. It hit him in the eye and he screamed in pain.

"Stop the car!" she demanded to the driver and reached for the door.

Josh grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"You're not going anywhere. Sooner or later you'll see that this is all just stupid. You love the life you have, why would you want to throw it away?"

He was speaking to her as though she was five.

"I am sick of being manipulated and told what to do."

"What does that matter? You're a success story. Billions of people idolise you. "

"I love John!"

His grip on her arm tightened so badly that it would later leave a bruise for six days.

"If you go to him you'll end up as a has-been housewife with four kids. You'll end up like Justine."

Ava tried to pull away from him, but he wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him and holding her tight.

"I'm going to take you home and it will all be ok, you'll see."

She knew it wouldn't be, and every time the car moved closer towards 'home' her hope was fading, fading fast. Ava thought this was what drowning felt like, you'd struggle and struggle but really there was no point, you where just going to die. That's how she really felt, she felt as though if she walked back through that front door and saw the smashed mirror, then she'd die. The car stopped, the door opened and there was Gloria and Nathen, looking at her as though she was in the zoo. Josh helped her out and Gloria put her arms out.

"Ava, sweetheart, we'll make this all go away."

"If you touch me…"

Which Gloria did, she went to pull Ava into a hug and Ava pushed her away as hard as she could.

"If you touch me again I swear to god you'll end up with a bloody nose." She stopped and looked at all of them. "That goes for any of you. Now here is what's going to happen, I'm going to go inside, change, pack a bag and leave. If you try and stop me every news channel, every magazine and every reporter will hear all about this."

She headed towards the house and they followed, all speaking at once.

"Ava, you're not well…"

"….good doctors. This won't get out."

"…our marriage. For us. You do…"

"…it's stress. Sleep and you'll feel better."

"…can't risk it."

"Fuck off!"

Ava screamed it as loud as she could, not caring that fuck wasn't a PG word and she shouldn't be saying it.

"Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off!"

She went upstairs and when she closed the door there was a sudden shout of 'Stop her!'

Ava should of paid more attention to that then she did.

John re read the e-mail more times then he'd readily admit, he typed out several responses, none of which he sent. He couldn't, not that he didn't want to, believe that Ava saw it. That she saw what was wrong and that she was willing to fix it. She was too far gone for that. He couldn't imagine Ava with her, in her clothes that Dontella Versace had made just for her, with stylists, dieticians, make up artists and personal trainers hovering around her, living with him and loving him. They didn't want the same things. Eventually, he decided not to type a reply, he blocked her address and turned off his computer.

If he'd only known what was going on.

The click that meant the door was being locked came half an hour ago, and Ava was still raging as loud as she was then. The room with it's en-suite bathroom, walking in closets and dressing room had been turned upside down. She threw anything she could pick up at the door, kicked it, rattled it scream and swore, but it did no good. There door didn't budge.

"Josh you bastard!"

When she saw the heavy antiqued chair in the corner, she hurled it at the window which cracked, she picked it up, screamed and threw it again. It smashed this time and when the door reopened she was out on the ledge.

"Ava!" Josh's voice was distant from inside the room, all she could hear was blood in her ears. He appeared to the left of her, but didn't make a grab.

"Please come in."

There was a sadness and desperation to his voice she only heard in his voices. It took her a long time to stand up, the ground seemed so far away.

"Please come inside, you're not…"

"Well." Ava finished not looking at him. "I have no idea what you think is wrong with me Josh."

"Stress, but don't jump. You don't want to die."

She almost laughed, she hadn't been thinking of dying, she'd been thinking that she could hut the ground and make a better run for it now she was wearing better shoes. Suicide didn't seem so bad actually.

"Why not?"

"You don't want to."

"I don't want to do a lot of things, but you make me don't you? It's always smile Ava, take this part Ava, let's have a baby Ava. I don't want to, I don't even love you. I want John."

She moved further away.

"Ava don't! There's a Doctor here who'll help, just come inside."

She didn't want to, but surely our girl wouldn't jump. Would she?


	16. The sleep of the innocent

Chapter Sixteen: The sleep of the innocent

When you have nothing to lose, the consequences of your actions mean little or nothing. But when Ava jumped out of the window she didn't expecting to survive the fall, she didn't want to survive the fall. This wasn't your standard 'cry for help' suicide attempt; this was the real deal, her last resort because Ava couldn't see any other way out. As she pushed herself forward and let go off the frame she decided if she couldn't live life the way she wanted then she didn't want to live at all.

If Ava Carson had died that day the magazines would have been full of the news, there would be flowers, people crying and consoling Josh and for years afterwards people would speculate about the reason she jumped without knowing the truth. Most importantly our story would end here.

The next day, John was in the hotel gym with his headphones on in some ill perceived notion that it would drown out all the voices in his head. Unluckily for him he caught a radio news broadcast.

"Hollywood is rife with speculation today following a bizarre accident involving Oscar winner Ava Carson."

John stopped dead on the treadmill and as a result nearly fell off.

"Emergency services where called to the Carson Mansion late last night where Ava was found unconscious in the garden. She was taken to a hospital where surgeons operated to set a broken leg. It's not known the cause of the accident, but it's claimed the actress will return home tomorrow."

John's first thought was to call her and check she was ok, to get the real story. But then he remembered the last time he'd seen her she'd slap him and called him an asshole. He wasn't going to stop him worrying about her, he may not be with her but he still loved her. Maybe, and this was only a very shaky maybe, he could call to check on her. John wasn't going to try any of that 'let's be friends' crap, him and Ava could never be just friends, no matter what she told her agents. He just wanted to make sure that was alright, and that she didn't hate him, though he knew it would be easier if she did. John was sure Ava had hated him once, even if it had only been for awhile, he was sure she could do it again.

But presently, hating John was the furthest thing from her mind because after arriving home from the hospital, Nathen began paying a private doctor to keep her sedated, the doctor didn't ask for a reason, just took the cheque and nodded. For three weeks Ava's life was a blur of things and she wasn't sure whether or not she was dreaming half the time. She was pretty sure the presence of her father was imaginary, but the visits from a figure in lime green she wasn't too sure of. The first solid thing she was sure was happening was when she woke up to find some women giving her a manicure.

"Who the hell are you?" she rasped, her throat was really dry.

"Mrs. Carson," the women jumped out of her chair but said nothing more, deciding to rush out the room. Ava let her go, her head was having and her leg stiff, it was only when she tried to get up did she notice the cast on her leg and everything came flooding back to her. As you can imagine, Ava felt like crying. It hadn't worked, she was stuck. Josh appeared at the door, followed by Nathen, Gloria and the manicure women. Ava raised a hand and they all stopped.

"If any of you come through that door I'll do something so bad it will make jumping out of the window look like art."

There was instant whispering and for once Josh wasn't apart of it, he simply held the others back and stepped into the room alone, closing the door behind at him. Ava glared at him, hell she was frowning so much it made up for all the years she had been forbidden to do it.

"You're, or you where very sick. One minute everything is fine then you smash up the hall and take off. The next you're talking about divorce and John and then you jumped out of the window. It scared me Ava; this was for your own safety."

"This? What is this?"

"Keeping you sedated, in the long term we knew it wouldn't help but we needed to come up with a plan. There where so many stories I had to tell to cover up for you."

"So your plan was to keep me asleep so I wouldn't go telling people the truth?"

She tried to stand up again, but fell back on the bed.

"It was to keep you safe." Josh went on. "I didn't want you jumping out of any more windows and there was the baby plan to consider."

Ava went cold, which wasn't surprising since the air conducting was on and she was in her underwear.

"There was no baby plan, remember?"

"We had no choice, the press where getting worried, so…"

"So while you where keeping me drugged you thought you'd take advantage of the situation?"

Josh sighed, Ava thought she was going to be sick and why not? She had woken up from one nightmare right into this. She couldn't believe it, she knew some weird stuff went on in the world but this was ridiculous. Josh couldn't have seriously been sleeping with her while she was out for the count.

"It was the only way."

"To do what?"

"To save our marriage."

"I told you before this marriage is a sham and a baby will just be the final nail in the coffin. If you even come near me again I'll sue you for statutory rape."

"Ava, stop."

Here it comes, we can all tell what's coming next and not just because Gloria and Nathen have been planning it forever, or that Josh is a jerk for listening to them, but because we already know that Ava is unlucky and because we know that, before Josh has even said it, we know Ava is already pregnant but it will be awhile before anyone else does.


	17. Rescue Me

Chapter Seventeen: Rescue Me

Three weeks later the cast came off and Ava refused to leave the bedroom, what's more she refused to let anyone in the room, even Josh. It didn't stop Nathen standing outside and trying to plead with her maternal side for her to eat for the baby. She didn't care about the baby, she didn't want it and nothing they said or did was going to change that. She had to get out of there, but it was harder then she imagined. Her cards had all been cancelled and the movie she had been shooting was going on without her. Once Gloria had the audacity to push a mother and baby magazine under the door, Ava burnt it and listened happily as the smoke alarms all over the house went off and every banged on the bedroom door to see if she was ok. She let them worry. She was going to make them pay for doing this to her. Ava felt like she had some sort of infection, like the baby was a virus and there should be some pill to take it away. What's more is that Ava was no fool, and as soon as she had the chance she paid one of the maids to send a message to John just so he would know. So she could tell him what they had done to her and that somehow she would get back to him. The same day she sent the message was the same day Josh walked in and sat on the bed, smiling at her like he hadn't done anything wrong.

"Ava, I love you but this behaviour isn't good for our baby. It has to stop."

He spoke to her as though she was a child and Ava rolled her eyes.

"You don't love me, it's your baby and I'll do what I want. I swear to god Josh I'll starve myself to death if it means getting away from you!"

Josh rubbed his hairline, as he was prone to do when he felt insecure. "If things get so bad I'll have a doctor commit you to a hospital."

He spoke like he had learnt the line off by heart, which of course he had. It was the ace up Gloria and Nathen's sleeve, the one sure thing they still had to control Ava with right? Wrong. She smiled, for the first time in weeks she smiled and it didn't matter if it was fake, then she leaned close to her husband.

"You wouldn't commit me, can you imagine the terrible repercussions. No one would view us the same again and I'm pretty sure studio producers don't want to hire a man with a crazy wife. You would lose everything and besides, you need to be sick before they put you away."

"You are sick."

"No Josh, you are."

Score one for our girl.

The message came in the form of a phone call when John was in his hotel room. Ava, as always, had been in and out of his dreams like a butterfly, fluttering by whenever she pleased and it was driving him crazy. What was worse was not seeing her anywhere. There where no more pictures in magazines, she hadn't been on TV and he knew that couldn't be a good thing. The phone call was of no surprise. The woman on the other end had a foreign accent he couldn't quiet place or really understand, the conversation between them was difficult and at first all he could understand was that something had happened, but he'd already guessed that. Then came the real hit, the big exclusive millions would of died for and John didn't want to hear, the woman told him Ava was pregnant and he immediately hung up. His insides felt like rock and he knew he had no right to react this way. After all he told her to go back to her husband and that's what she'd done. She'd gone back to her husband and jumped straight into bed with him to make a baby, which just proved everything she had told John when she last seen him had been a lie hadn't it? That night John went out to a bar with some friends and picked up a waitress, how was he to know that poor Ava was waiting for a reply, a reply that would state without a doubt that he was coming to rescue her from her own personal hell, a hell that was getting worse every day.

Especially the next day, as Ava slept late, tired from staying awake until 5 am, Gloria and Nathen where issuing a statement to the press. A fabulous work of fiction telling the whole world how the Carson's where overjoyed at the news they where having their first baby. Yes, Josh would be giving interviews later that week but no his wife wouldn't be joining them as she was still very ill. They had got what they wanted, they had just thrown away the key that would unlock Ava's chains and to the casual observer it may look like it would stay this way. In every life a little rain may fall and god knows Ava's had enough of that, but you have to remember that after the rain, the sun usually follows.


	18. The Best Laid Plans

A/N: Thank you to gurl42069, legend thriller, corrs1977 and wrestlenascargirl for reviewing. I'm about 2/3's of the way through this so everything will start to change over the next few chapters. Enjoy-Kiera

Chapter Eighteen: The Best Laid Plans

Ever since she was a child, Ava had always managed the most miraculous escapes at the very last minute. No matter the problem, she could always fix it at the 11th hour. But this was different, for five long months she has been caged up in a house going insane, getting bigger and waiting, praying that John would rush in and sweep her away. What reason did he have not to? Hadn't he got the message which explained everything? Her hope lasted a month, just four and a half weeks and then Ava realised she was going to have to do this herself; she was going to have to pull one hell of a plan out of her ass. So between all of Gloria, Nathen's, Josh's and the Nurse's visits, Ava sat alone and thought. Now you may have thought that after three weeks her plan would have been a masterpiece full of cunning disguises and get away cars. Something, that the best writer would be pleased about right? Wrong. Her plan was relatively simple, it was all in the execution really and basing her idea on the fact she could still get anywhere for free even if her face hadn't graced the pages of a tabloid newspaper in months. She paid the maid 500 in cash to cause some sort of distraction while she bolted out the front door. At first the maid had been sceptical, but Ava was coming back, why I'm not too sure. But she was, there was just somewhere she had to be for a short while she explained to the maid. The maid had then nodded and started a fire in the kitchen, and she has slipped out the front door.

John was lacing up his boots, running through his schedule, calling Amber his girlfriend of exactly three months, and pitching new storylines. He was doing everything he could to try and forget that he was in Hollywood and that Ava was somewhere close, carrying Josh's baby. He didn't want to think about her or them together.

Of course if John and Ava had got what they wanted, this story would be three chapters long and very boring, too clean cut and full of happy ever afters that I've pointed out don't exist. That's why as John were doing a million things at once in his locker room, the door burst open and Ava walked in. His first thought was how different she looked. Her hair was limp and un-brushed, her face was thin and she wore no make up, and she was showing now, just enough that her stomach pushed out the front of her Von Dutch T-Shirt.

"Hey." He greeted, he was trying to stay friendly and not to panic or over react.

"Hey?" She laughed then. "Is that all you can say to me? I've been waiting for you."

"Why?"

"Because it took me three weeks to come up with a plan to get out of the house this long to see you. Where have you been?"

"At home, Ava I have no idea what you're talking about."

She pushed her hair back from her face. "I tried to leave Josh and he dragged me home, so I tried to kill myself and he kept me sedated for three weeks, convincing a Doctor I was crazy and getting me pregnant. I've been a prisoner, I needed you John."

He rolled his eye and pulled on a jersey. "As far as excuses go that one is really feeble. Come on Ava, you've won an Oscar, can't you give me something better then that?"

"John I'm serious! Where do you think I've been for months? I wanted to be with you, I was willing to prove and look what happened!"

She motioned to her stomach and if hadn't been for that moment, with the old Ava showing through in her eyes, John would never have believed her, which is exactly what Josh had been betting on, the fact that what he had done was so outrageous that no one on this Earth would ever have believed it happened. But John did, he could tell she was telling the truth and all he could do was stand there and look at her.

"Ava…."

"I sat everyday in my room going stir crazy waiting for you to come get me and you never did."

"All I heard was that you where pregnant and I didn't want to know anymore."

He sat down, feeling like a failure, almost as though he had been the executioner who had condemned Ava to this fate. She paced the room.

"Don't you want to be with me?" She finally asked

"I can't, not now. You're having someone else's baby and I have a girlfriend now."

"What?"

"Ava you have a husband, what did you expect me to do?"

She shook her head and paced again. "You where my last chance."

John sighed loudly, there where so many voices in his head that he wasn't sure what to do.

"John if you don't want me then I have to go home, I have to go back to Josh and have this baby and stay in this bubble for the rest of my life and I don't think I can. Now I can see the lie, I can't live it, it will kill me."

"That's an awful lot to put on me, you're expecting me to save you when you can save yourself."

Ava shook her head, tears threatened to spill over. "No, I can't, I'm in too deep. What sort of life could I have with someone who drugged me for god's sake!"

"I don't want you to go back to that either," John said. "Look, I'll drive you to the airport and I'll wait with you while you get on a plane and go back to your Mom's."

"I don't want that. I want you, and I know you want me too. You're just too busy thinking of reason's why we can't be together that you're ignoring the reason's we can, the reasons we should."

She was getting upset, distraught even and John didn't like the thought of a pregnant woman getting that upset because of him. He got to his feet and stopped her pacing.

"John I love you." She told him

And even though she had possibly never spoken a truer word it didn't matter. John couldn't, nothing in this world is black and white, John just couldn't be with her now. But now doesn't mean ever and it was only because Ava knew that too did she go home promising to call him if anything happened again. He may not have been prepared to be with her, but John Cena was sure as hell not going to let her rot.


End file.
